Tea blog: origins. Also tea harvest's japanese dew

Hey teaple, I thought I'd start this post off by telling you about how all this began; how this tea blog came about. I wanted to describe how my initial fascination with tea was kindled, and is now a raging fire, which has consequently led me to today's tea, and how much I appreciate it, when I know I wouldn't have 10 months ago. Also I want to say there is a Lost spoiler in this post, so scroll with caution inevitable Lostaholics.

As a human-created artificially intelligent robot, human, or human-creating god, you will have several moments or significant events that redefine your life into two categories: pre-x and post-x. (My higher deity readership is quite high, so I feel it's about time I acknowledge my audience). Shout out to my main man Hurley, Overlord and Protector of the Island.

My experience with tea was a significant one. As a non-tea drinker for the first 23 years of my life, or as I like to call it: pre-tea, I had only 2 - 3 brushes with it, but I hated it with a tea-phobic vengeance. I hated it with the bitterness that it went down my throat with for the first time.

Tea consumption over my lifetime measured in Cups Per Day (CPD). You
can see a slight elevation in 2014, value of 0.0328767123287671 CPD, as I started
drinking tea in the last half of December 2014. Future predictions have me hitting 4
CPD until I peak at 15 CPD in 2019. I'm pretty sure this will end in death. My death.
As seen in the 2020 predictions.

Normally, your first experience with something should be good, just like if you are driving, learning maths, taking meth, drinking, or having sex for the first time. You want someone who knows what they are doing, to guide you patiently without judgement. You want someone who will let you know it's going to be okay, and that it will get better and you will get better. That's why most people hate maths; because they had uncaring teachers who don't know how to communicate or nurture effectively, and only know how to REFER TO THE TEXT BOOK. If your mentor has no love for the subject, how can you be expected to become impassioned or enthralled by it? You don't want to rush things; you want a calm, placid environment, free of stress. 

That's how I wish my situation was when I first tried tea. Unfortunately I was sick, mum heated the green tea too high giving it a bitter, pungent taste, and the honey didn't make it better. My lack of experience with hot beverages also left my tongue burnt. Don't get me wrong, my parents get a 10/10 for parenting, but they didn't school me in tea. Although, I do wonder, if I hadn't discovered tea on my own life journey, maybe it wouldn't have had such a profound impact on my life.

As a tea PSA I want to tell you all that green tea should be brewed at 80°C. To get this, you fill a cup 4/5s high with boiling water, then add 1/5 cold water, and stir with a spoon; once it's mixed, add the green tea. Remove the tea leaves/bag after 3 minutes. This will ensure you're beverage won't become astringent or bitter, and you should be left with a really nice brew. Do not use 100°C boiling water, it makes a difference.


So skip forward to December 2014, I hadn't touched tea for about 15 years. I was on a date with a nice girl, and she mentioned she was a tea fan. Straight away I laugh her off, saying tea is disgusting, and she is surprised, because tea is something she is really fond of. Date goes alright. We see each other a week or so later, and she has a bag for me. Inside the bag is a jar. Inside the jar is a whole bunch of assorted teas. Then I said: 'Awwwww'. Then she smiled. Without exerting any effort, I had been given an opportunity to try something I hadn't really put any effort or thought into, and since so many people rave about tea, I thought it was high time I give tea a fair shake. Also, I was flattered, because it was a very sweet thing for someone to do.

The date in question [1]

So I started this tea blog. I started as a cynic and a skeptic. I wanted to chronicle my journey because I needed a creative outlet, and because I thought it would be a cool thing to record. Because what other idiot has a tea blog? Here we are roughly 10 months later, and I'm drinking bordering on what I believe to be emotionally unhealthy amounts of tea, enjoying tea, appreciating the subtleties and filled with a greater knowledge about something I once knew nothing of. I have educated myself, learned and developed my palate, and used prose to both slam and describe my love of many different teas. I haven't blogged every tea I've tried, not by a long shot, but I can tell I've grown. I can see it in my writing, comparing my oldest blogs to now. This has been one the coolest things I've done, and I couldn't recommend it to you any higher. 

Now I don't see that girl anymore, but I think I still came away with something really great.

I consider myself a happy person, so I have a high baseline life enjoyment factor,
but tea has definitely had an impact on my life too. Value drops to 0 in 2020 because again, my
preordained tea-related 2020 death. What this graph should show you, is you should
get into tea. Now.

Now, onto the tea of the day: Tea Harvest's Japanese Dew

Awww, it's a little koi fish on the package. This better taste as
serene as the package promises, otherwise I'll feel really bad emptying
this down the toilet; I paid $7 for it.

Nasal review
It smells nectarous and complex; one of the most pleasant aromas I've smelt in my entire life. It is fresh as a kangaroo corpse on a country road, and as bright as the sun bearing down on it. I got a feeling I'm going to enjoy this as a burp after consumption.

Tongue review
This delight melts in your mouth, and delivers on everything the redolence promised; a zephyr of pure, sweet love. This tea is elegant and simply beautiful. It is delicate, and it's full of subtle hints that have your brain playing hopscotch across the Mad Hatter's dinner table. I can't work out how it's sweet with it's absence of sugar, but wow. I don't know if I would have 'got it' 10 months ago, I might have missed out on why this tea is so great. Damn, I want to make funnies, but I am just sitting here enjoying this, and I have no intention of doing anything else.

Brain review
Get this tea. You should get this tea. You should seriously get this tea. Ask, and I shall send you some of this tea. Send me your address and I will send you this tea. I've got a feeling I'm going to need to start including a 'monthly tea allowance' in my budget.


Le ref
[1] http://www.skyhdwallpaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Date-fruit-1.jpg

Tea Harvests' raspberry and vanilla rooibos

Happy weekly Saturday fellow teaple! 

So I decided today would be a great day to get up at 9 AM and go to the farmers market, despite the fact I got to bed around 4 AM. I am pretty sure I woke up drunk, or at least unburdened of a few less malfunctioning brain cells, you know, the ones that help with the whole balance and hand-eye coordination thing. At this point I can't really tell, but it doesn't really matter anyway. I should weigh myself before and after...wait, that won't tell me anything..will it? I figure with my steady and constant decline of my already feeble intelligence, it won't matter to me soon anyway. As the processing power of my brain slowly grinds to a halt, I will become happier and happier. At least this is the trend I have noticed while drinking, so I figure it's the same in real life too.

Isn't it cool that humans have an "I'M AWESOME AND INVICIBLE" magic potion called alcohol? It cleans wounds, melts inhibitions, and makes you brave enough to stick a needle into your own ey- Oh wait, that's heroin, which I guess is kinda the same thing. Still, that's pretty neato! I'm not saying do drugs, but I'm not saying don't do them either. I'm not here to tell you what to do, or aren't I? I just want to see you don't not do drugs. Confused? Am, me...too?

Aww who's that cutie-pie in the reflection? Who's that precious flower petal?
Adawwwwable little pumpkin! Yes you are, yes you are! Tehehehehehe *farts*

Hmmm:
This smells delicious. I am not going to lie, I am at half mast right now. I stand at attention and treat my superiors with respect.

No more waiting, I'm checking in

Weeeeeeee:
Dammit, that is good. That is like eating raspberry and white chocolate anything, that's what that reminds me of. If love could be freeze dried, it would taste like this. This would be amazing as an iced tea.

I guaranTEA (lel) that if soldiers in WW2 took this blend with them, and exchanged it with enemy soldiers, all would lay down their nunchucks, come up out of trenches (they still fought in trenches right?) for a spat and gumble, empty their musket powder bags into the wind, and enjoy the company of other raspberry and vanilla scented humans as they rolled cannonballs off the deck into the ocean, giggling like school children. Fighting would definitely have resumed after everyone realised there was a limited supply, but the smart ones would cut the throats of their once-enemies, now spooning partners as they sucked their thumbs in gentle slumber. As the ground runs red with bloody mud, the sound of boots squelch through the sticky mire as the ones left standing walk towards the few remaining packets of Tea Harvests' raspberry and vanilla rooibos, raising fists even against those in the same uniform.

I was going to cut myself and stand in my backyard for a picture like this, but instead I found a website where some guys shot a buffalo with a bow and arrow in what they called a 'Buffalo Field Test' [1]. I know when I need to test anything, I always put it to the 'Buffalo Field Test' because it really is an unmatched gold standard in today's modern world. 

Ahhh:
Wow, this is really good. The raspberry is so fresh and aromatic, despite being desiccated and dead for ages. Who knew death could make me feel so alive? It is just a blushing full flavour. Maybe I'm tasting the soul. Vanilla is an amazing accentuation, and rooibos for the 'tea' moniker, with their powers combined they are a radical blend. 
I am actually going to stop looking for a life partner because I've found something I want by my side forever. I would kill for this tea. STAY AWAY. GET BACK. 


Zzzzz:
OH GOD I'VE JUST REALISED I'M GOING TO RUN OUT OF IT ONE DAY. The farmers market is once a month? Are they serious? Who's idea was that? I will kil- Oh wait, they have a website: www.teaharvest.com.au, phew.




Much love all, pteace (sigh) out

Pfft:
[1] http://ospsabermaxx.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Blood-Trail-mud.jpg