My journey for a new Medicare card: Navigating the Department of Human Services and myGov websites

So I was trying, attempting, and endeavouring to navigate the Department of Human Services website, and it makes me want to hURL. I need to apply for a Medicare card, since I'm a big boy now, and 25 is the age the government considers me a true adult. I CAN still LIVE with the parents and can't afford a house in the current climate, but I'm considered truly independent (I rent outside of home). 

I don't want to turn into the person that writes letters to companies and governments, but I am so angry, and if I didn't do this, I would be seething when I log on tomorrow and give it another crack.

So, here's what I sent them:

"Okay, understand this: Your website sucks. There is no doubting how difficult it is to navigate. Even finding this form was SIGNIFICANTLY challenging. There is no flow, just walls of text and hidden hyperlinks within them. There is no clear way to get the information you are looking for. I'll use an example: I wanted to submit feedback, telling you how terribly designed this website is. 

1) Control+F, then typed 'contact'. Clicked 'Contact Us'

2) Looked at four seemingly random, scattered columns of text and hyperlinks that really make no sense in terms of layout. Finally found 'Complains and feedback' after Control+F and typing 'feedback'

3) Scrolled down half the page to find the 'Online' heading, then clicked the hyperlink. Ironically, this says: 'It’s fast and easy to submit feedback online. You can submit your feedback using your Centrelink, Medicare and Child Support online accounts through myGov. You can also track the progress of your submission, and we can respond more directly.'

4) Scrolled down 2/3 of the page, and scanned all the headings for 30 seconds or so until I found the 'If you do not have a ____ online account online form' subheading, which I clicked. Initially I was confused, since I wasn't giving feedback/complaint for centrelink, medicare or child support, I didn't know where to look. This layout is toxic, and it permeates your site.

5) Got to the 'Your details' page of the feedback form, clicked Complaint! The page then refreshed...why would you do that? I then clicked 'Next' (Why is this not a drop down menu on the same page as the comments and personal details page?)

6) It then asked for my details. In fact, I tried to give my details, but then it asked for a customer ID. How do I know what my customer ID is? How do I find out? Well your website is too fucking difficult to navigate, so I can't find out. Instead I am submitting this 'anonymously', because it is the path of least resistance. For the record, my name is Ben Vezina, and my email is xxxxxxxxx, and I want a response from you guys. My myGov account is xxxxxxxx. I clicked 'Customer', the page then refreshes...again, why? I then clicked 'anonymous', then 'Next'

7) Feedback details form, ahh finally, the one I've been looking for. After 7 significant page changes, I'm finally here. I seriously almost quit at step 4, although it's a good way to not receive any feedback..you know, by making the form hard to find. I am angry at this point, and I feel like spraypainting penises all over your website.

What's worse, is when I am using the drop-down menus, on this page the 'digital service', 'system not user friendly' and 'online services' are all options! So you people already know this is an issue, yet you refuse to simplify it! That is ridiculous. The internet is suppose to make things easier, not harder.

I also noticed the feedback forms are identical between the Medicare/Child support and Centrelink. Why not have them all link to the same page, and have a dropdown menu, including an 'OTHER' option, where users can put their own in? Why make this a tedious experience?

Instead of all this, you guys should have a one click button that goes straight to the feedback form, which then has several drop down buttons, so you can pre-sort feedback. This form can have personal details, such as name, email, myGov account etc.

You people need a minimalist approach to web design, because otherwise people get lost in your web. Then I assume you receive phone calls from people who don't understand how to get to certain links. The idea of a website is that it automates the job and flow of information, not locks it away in a labyrinth.By the way, this is just one aspect of your crappy website I have talked about."

The amount of time I've wasted on this already, god damn. I know I use 'you people' a lot, but I find it really hard to consider 'them' human in my current state of rage. So I found the form, in case any of you people are wondering where it is: https://www.humanservices.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/3101-1306en.pdf

Ooops, no it's not. That form is for other people, not me. Back down the rabbit hole we go.

Went through myGov, put in my existing (parents) Medicare details, recieved this message:

"Sorry, we are unable to verify your identity with Medicare using the details you provided. Please contact Medicare for assistance."

So, no hyperlink to where I'm suppose to go? Last time I tried to 'Contact' Medicare, it took me down the Department of Human Services rabbit hole.

After spending another 15 minutes navigating the website, clicking every link I thought would possibly contain what I need, a quick Google search and clicked the third link:

Except oh wait, this is transfer to an NEW EXISTING card. See, their definition of 'new' is different from mine. They say 'new' as in 'new to me', not 'newly created'. Which means I can't transfer myself to a new not-yet-existent Medicare card. Great. I think I'll just waste an hour on the phone talking to them tomorrow.

So, suuper productive evening all up, cheers cunts.

Pondering with tea: lack of privacy and individualised surveillance

Introducing today's new blog post type: 'Pondering with tea', where I sit down with a mug of tea, and indulge myself, and use this 'platform' (lel) to develop my ideas or philosophies. If you are after a tea review, TURN BACK now.


Topic
Today I am thinking about the issue of privacy.


L'begin

The Edward Snowden conversation is one of the most important issues a sentient, technologically advanced society HAS to have; will the people stand by those who speak the truth against the system which threatens every individual, or do they watch them burn like an effigy, signifying their lack of protest, and therefore blind acceptance over the issue.

Seriously, what a boss. The first thing he follows on Twitter was the NSA. His first tweet was inspired, to say the least. Legend. [2]

Come on guys, don't play coy; we all know how the ramping up of individual surveillance ends. We all know it devolves into inevitable abuse, persecutions, and a severe power imbalance that will be taken advantage of.

People can pretend all they want that it's not an issue or that they don't care. They 'don't care' because they don't want to think about the implications of the precedents being set now, that will give way to even further interrogation by government/ruling class/power elite of your personal, private life. Justifying individual surveillance as being used on criminals and not law abiders, is a bullshit justification.

People abuse everything, just look at our banking, economic and political systems. None of it really works because the people at the top want to stay there; they want to die, King of the Hill. Society rewards this kind of behaviour, so why would you think the constant dwindling of your privacy would be any different? It's so overtly abusable, the ruling class/power elite are passed the point of being able to at least try and pretend that it's not, and it's 'for our protection'. It's pure and simple; wrong, and so open to abuse that to think differently is incorrect. The invasion of our privacy is one of the biggest issues we will ever face. We need to say 'No' now, so the following generations get their choice to say 'No'. We can't choose this for them, we need to give them the opportunity to choose their own future, instead of being born into a world where everything is already chosen for them. That is the worst thing we can do for the next generation and for humanity. 

What concerns me is that I never really hear people talk about this, yet everyone knows of 1984. We've been warned on exactly this situation, and multiple times at that! It's not a fucking joke and it's a big fucking deal. Not enough people discuss the annexation of our privacy. This should be talked about all the time. We need to say 'No' now, before they tell us we can't say 'No' anymore. 

In case you either agree with the current downwards trend of personal privacy, or can't fathom why it would ever be an issue, let me put it simply: One day, they will use it to control you. This is an absolute fact. If it doesn't happen to you, it will happen to your children, or your friends' children, or all their children. But make no mistake, it will happen. There will be people telling you what to do, and having proof if you don't. But they won't stop there, because control breeds more control, and even ideas are dangerous at this point. Just as the mass of a body increases, as does it's gravitational force, and ability to exert it's force on more and more things as it grows larger; it's a greedy system, which can be summed up as: 'Gravitational force is proportionate to mass'. Therefore it follows that even thinking about the 'wrong thing' will at one stage, be considered wrong. If we are EVER on the path to thoughtcrime, we should turn and never look back. 

Besides affecting more things as mass increases, gravity also distorts things
for an observer. It's a good metaphor. [1]

Our stance, or passive-leaning-against-the-wall-in-disinterest in this issue, will be the defining moment of our generation. We've had no world war, because instead of government seeing nations, they now see individuals; their resolution has improved, and they don't have to rely on old-school methods. Now they cast a wider and more effective net over the population through indiscriminatory individualised surveillance; where everything you do leaves a footprint: every website, every search term, every bank transaction, every friend, every family photo, every compromising photo, every conversation, every love letter, every thought in your diary, everywhere you go, every hour of the day. 

Welcome to the future, where the bigger your digital footprint, the happier they are. We have the right to our digital footprint privacy, not from third parties, but the ruling class/power elite.

Says it all. [3] 

A bit of an offshoot, but something I don't think about much, is when other countries install crazy laws, it's an idea that poisons humanity for generations. Even though it doesn't affect me, it is a bad and dangerous seed that could grow into a real serious redwood of a problem. We need to make decisions as a species if we want to survive. That involves making sacrifices and compromising. At some point, the world is going to have to start compromising; it's our only way forward.

You never waste time while thinking.

So that's where I'm at.


Sources
[1] https://natuurbelevingessen.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/buiging20licht_thumb.gif?w=424&h=423
[2] http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/09/29/18/2CE7D26900000578-3253732-Edward_Snowden_joined_Twitter_on_Tuesday_morning_His_first_tweet-a-13_1443546973147.jpg
[3] http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0120/0692/products/thoughtpoliceretro_980heather-dark-grey_grande.jpg?v=1431660253

Netball review: the yams

Often in life, there are unique moments of elementary genius that revolutionise things. When the game of basketball started, the game was stopped every time the ball was scored and a ladder-wielding janitor would take to the skies to rescue the ball. It took a simple, holeproof idea of cutting out the bottom of the basket for ball to really start rolling and the game to start picking up [2]...and I guess for a janitor to lose his job (automation's been taking names and taking jobs since 1891). 


Unfortunately the bastardization of basketball into the corrupt pastime that is netball was stepping (lulz ironically using netball lingo) in the wrong direction.

Sport is meant to be fun, but netball is just a game of prison. Ever wonder why criminals play basketball, not netball in jail? It's a prison with hardcourt paint and whistles instead of bars and armed guards. I've never felt so frustrated with restriction in my life, except for when SmaI won't do it's fucking job.

Actually, it does kind of remind you of prison bars, more like
cell blocks actually [3].

Most of the time, my defensive position was: *sigh* followed by a shoulder slump and sadfacing the ground. See, I can stick to my opponent like glue, but it doesn't matter because if they do get the ball, now I'm obstructing, because I am standing inside their fairy ring of protection:

This is me, dealing with the well-thought out, balanced, non-arbitrary rules of netball [1]

I am left paralysed, not allowed to raise my arms up, or put off my opponent in any way, nullifying my defensive presence, all because I got "too close"when they had the ball they got the ball when I was "too close". Then they take a big-ass cheeky one-point-five steps right past me and drop it in the bucket, while I stand and watch, helpless, passive, and dead inside.


People believe in, and do a lot of dumb things en masse, but netball may be the dumbest thing participated in by the masses. As I sit on the sideline, wincing every time I hear the whistle (as a deaf crunt, I probably miss most of the whistles too), I wonder: if an umpire has to blow the whistle that frequently during the game, isn't that a sign that the game is broken; a constant, high-pitched reminder that what you're doing isn't right? 

To break down why the whistle blows so often, we have to look at the rules and why they are being broken. I can sum it up really quickly: the rules that are broken often are stupid. You can now skip this paragraph if you want.
It doesn't make any sense why some of the rules exist. Why can't I throw a ball over a third of the court? That makes no sense whatsoever. I don't care about everyone touching the ball, I just want my team to score goals. Why can't I actually defend my defender and take the ball from them? Why can't I get up in their grill and put pressure on them. Why is my defensive presence nullified if I am standing too close? The only way I can justify these rules is to make it harder for defenders. What's the point in the three-second holding the ball rule, if there is no real pressure on the ball holder? Why can't you move out of your position and cover another part of the court? The rules are so unforgiving and stringent that it makes tactics formulaic and predictable, yet I find it hard to do anything about it because of defender restrictions.

• Want to steal the ball from your opponent? NOPE. 
• Want to put even a modicum of pressure on a standstill opponent and get in their face? NOPE
• Want to man-up and not just look for intercepts? NOPE
• Want to lob a ball over the court for a quick goal? NOPE

The restrictions put on netball takes all the best parts about basketball; the dynamic and interactive elements and removes them from play. No stealing, no actual defence, no contact, no long distance fast plays, and replaces it with a magical ring of protection (+ 1 DEF) and nonstop whistleblowing, but not the good, Edward Snowden kind. 

Having the ball gives you one of these, sadly it's a three second
temporary buff [4]

To sum up my netball review: this is a game that penalises you for actively participating for attempting to stop your opponent from scoring. Almost like a fun, loving game of take-it-in-turnsies.



That said, maybe I just suck at netball rules. Maybe netball rules suck and I rule. Who knows. All I know is The Yams, are better off without me. Yamspeed, and good luck yamigos.

References

[1] http://i.imgur.com/rtpxva2.gif

[2] http://www.rarenewspapers.com/view/206238

[3] http://www.sports.det.nsw.edu.au/sportsedu/resources/rules/media/court.gif

[4] https://img0.etsystatic.com/034/1/6569665/il_570xN.615379018_a1fj.jpg

Bondi Review: the bondi contradiction

Have you ever been in the ocean all day, or bounced on a trampoline for hours, then when you go to sleep that night you can still feel all the motions, as if you were still there? That's what my Bondi experience was like. My body got used to the embrace, and I'm having a sort of phantom withdrawal.

'What is Bondi?'
The truth is, I'm not really qualified to answer that, because I didn't really see all that much of it, but truthfully, it doesn't really matter.

I spent a weekend there that went a little too quickly and was a little too brief.
What is Bondi? Bondi is just a place, albeit a place peppered with interesting characters, but a place that doesn't feel like it's on Earth; ironic for a place obsessed with surface. Double the shirtless men you'd find at St Kilda, half the bicycle helmets, and all the organic, raw and/or vegan products than you can shake your jam jar milkshake at.

I felt like little Alice at the Mad Hatter's tea party, almost like this stellar weekend was a sitch in time that only existed within the realm of Bondi, and nowhere else acknowledged it's occurrence. Surreal, it was surreal.

If a wave crashes in Bondi, does the world know it happened? Or to put it simply: The Bondi Contradiction.

They say that people make the experience, and my stupidly positive review is a product of my company. Bondi is a place where you can practically go nowhere with someone, see basically nothing together, but somehow still define the place as something exotic, alien and charming in it's casualness. The Bondi Contradiction in solid form.

I was licked with cold, well-spaced rain in warm, humid air as lightning scattered locals and tourists alike, with the added persistent assistance of the 'if you drown, you can only blame yourself' attitude booming from megaphones held by retreating lifeguards. Yep, Bondi is a strange, amazing place; a portmanteauown that both tickles me with potential and leaves me feeling like I'm not missing anything at all. The Bondi Contradiction leaves me with a thought: were it not for the real world, I might forget about leaving.

There's only one reason to go back, and it's the same reason I wouldn't; it all depends on whether or not I'm invited. The Bondi Contradiction's presence is felt once again.





Bondi, where beach rules apply: leave everything how you found it, take everything you brought. 


Ciaoabunga