Nerada Organics' Green Tea and Lemon Myrtle

Welcome back tea fans, I hope you're excited about todays entry, I sure am! It's been calling to me like a mermaid on the rocks, you know the ones with shells over their boobs, not like the Harry Potter ones, or the Peter Pan ones, not like Aquaman either...you know, I'm starting to think Mermaids are creatures I don't actually want to come across. Anyway, moving on, picking randomly from my tea hitlist drinklist, I have drawn the short straw: Nerada Organics' Green Tea and Lemon Myrtle. Sigh, we are so not going to get on well.

I bet Jedi's wouldn't even drink this, I am practically a national
hero for drinking this. Why doesn't ACU name a scholarship
after me? What? Too soon?

Initial observations:
Smells lemony fresh as window cleaner and appetising as chewing lemongrass...without teeth...and lockjaw. Need I say more?


First thoughts on the first sips:
You know that feeling when you go into your wallet full knowing all you have is more silver than a wishing fountain, and you're really hungry/not intoxicated enough to know you're intoxicated enough, and you don't know where an ATM is, yet you still reach in and double check, just in case a note got folded down the bottom. But just like you knew deep down, your fishing expedition always comes up empty, with your hands smelling like dirty, cheap silver coins. That's what I feel like right now, because not only did I come up empty when drinking this monstrosity, but I have this lemony reminder hanging around my palate like an incurable gypsy curse.

Many sips later:
I have actual tears forming in the ducts of my eyes. This is such an unpleasant feeling; where mint may thrive being the condiment to green tea's 'food' (or whatever is the true opposite to 'condiment' is), lemon is just overkill. It assaults the senses with just such an overbearing lemony glaze. I just don't understand why someone would drink this. I get that lemon myrtle is a true blue skipper bloke swagman type tea, but no amount of patriotism could convince me to drink this tea again.

This is what you're doing

This is what I want you to do

Apologies for referencing this one 

Recommendation:
"We are one, but we are many" is a deep, complex and powerful statement. The ratio of lemon myrtle in one tea bag of Nerada Organics' Green Tea and Lemon Myrtle to 250 mL of water in favour of the myrtle, is also a powerful statement. If you like overpowering citrus flavour in the form of an unsweetened liquid with tiny notes of green tea, this outback science-experiment-gone-wrong is for you, if not I'd steer clear. 


Final words:
Maybe you think I'm too harsh and that I don't give things a fair go; that the legions of tea fans and fame has gotten to my head, and I just don't 'get it' anymore. Well maybe you're right, maybe I am overly harsh, but maybe, just maybe I just want to experience human greatness, and right at this very point in time I want to experience the output of human greatness in the form of great tea. And maybe this tea I drank tonight was not a great tea, maybe this tea was objectively lacking greatness.

The fact is, anyone can do anything with mediocrity, except be great. NB: Maybe that's the where the origin of the word 'critic' comes from, for critics denounce the mediocre from the stellar. Who am I kidding, critics are assholes.