planet organic's Female Balance

Hey teaple, how you iz? So I like to think I am quite in touch with my more feminine side, but sometimes I'll admit I'm off my game. Yesterday, some snatch subtly hinted to me that I should give it a fine tuning by giving me this tea, so today's tea is planet organic's Female Balance. The cooter muffin might be right: let's drink this bitch.

I don't need balance, I need MORE POWER. 

At first glance:

Lemongrass, not a fan. Herbal teas are usually great, no caffeine, snazzy and cute ingredients, but I don't really understand why this is just for women. Wanna talk about 'equality' and 'balance'? Equality is for rubes, and balance is for gymnasts. Also I'm so glad it's organic, otherwise I'd feel just...terrible. No fairtrade? Oh goodness gracious me! Pfft. Pffffft.

No caption needed [1].








Okay fine: This is my pfft, novel-writing, and sex face. It's also my 'Ewwwww,
lemongrass face'.

Sips:

Oh dang, this be some sweet, sweet tang. Licorice is the bomb! The aftertaste is a craymazing fusion of the zesty lemongrass and the sweet, sweet licorice. It's sOVARY good. Does anyone need a hug? 

Are YOU okay, sincerely? 

It's seriously going to be okay, if you want to talk, I want to listen.

I am feeling very supportive right now, and I want you to know that. A seed has sprouted, and I await it's fruits with a humbled presence.  

Downing it:

Okay, I am digging this tea: a luscious rainforest now grows within my heart which was once filled with earthy abandon (flowery prose hey?). Aren't girls the best? God damn, they are just the best. I don't know where I'd be without them, but I am so thankful for all the women in my life; that choose to grace me with their presence. Now that I'm a big boy, and I learned I can choose friends, I have tried to surround myself with people I respect, and whose company I enjoy, and I'm so glad many of them are guuuuurls. 

I know equality is a big thing right now worldwide for women, rightly so; the idea of treating all the womenz as people seems to be hard to understand. Respect shouldn't be earned, it should be assumed.

Oh right, I almost forgot: this is a tea blog. The tea's good, get it.

Afterthought/s:

Balance is such an important part of life; for your diet, work vs play, and male to female ratios in China. Be thankful for equilibrioception and your vestibulo-ocular reflexes. Thank your ancestors by drinking this tea, and have a good think about the ones you choose as your people blanket. Please don't use a real people blanket, it's a metaphor. I don't want this blog connected with a string of murders involving skinned victims.

Final werds:

Great, I'm now realising how much I miss Buffy, and Veronica Mars, and Gilmore Girls, and The Good Wife. Thank old gods and the new, for Jessica Jones.

I don't want to have to explain that I was being suuuper ironic at the top of this tlog, demonstrating the 'transformation' I underwent due to the consumption of planet organic's Female Balance, so I'm not going to.

Referential potential:

[1] http://i1.wp.com/www.psyourdogcalled.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/dog-sticking-tongue-out.jpg?fit=830%2C9999