Southern Light Herbal Teas random bag

Good day my fellow teaple, today was a weird day, well yesterday was: I purchased two teas from the supermarket, meaning it was the first time I have ever bought tea in my life! I'll spend tomorrow reviewing them both, because I tried them at work today, and they were banging! Anyway, moving on, today I am reviewing this strange mix: Southern Light Herbal Teas. It doesn't say what's in it, or what the name of the mix is as you can see, but I am not looking forward to this; I don't like not knowing. What I do know is this tea expired in May of 2012, so if there is any random hallucinogenic herbs mixed in, they hopefully have still retained their wacky properties. 

10/2/15 update: So apparently this one is called Scholars Blend, and it is suppose to bring me 'mental clarity'. - Thanks Sarah

Mystery tea. Oh well, it's organic, it must be okay...

Initial observations:

Okay, from the moment I brewed this one, I knew it was gonna be a struggle. If I were a Pokemon, all my moves would have just run out of PP, and I would be killing myself slowly, and the trainer I am facing doesn't want to waste the Masterball:

Jen is the Jgenderbended Pokemon version of Ben.

First thoughts on the first sips:

Eugh! Maybe expiry dates are actually a thing. Hmm, maybe this is just really bad tea. It sure isn't captivating me. I can see how the packet recommends honey, but I also think it should recommend a handgun or a lethal amount of heroin within an arms reach too. I want to tackle this tea, but I can't seem to take it down.

Many sips later:

Wow, tea really is a double-edged sword; sometimes growth occurs and you like it, and other times you just have to absorb it. It's sending thunderbolts through my taste buds, and I can't seem to dig my way out of it. I wish tea wouldn't taunt me so, and for once just hold out a helping hand. It astonishes me how I endeavour to try so many teas, yet almost every time I get beat up, and believe me, this isn't just fake tears for dramatic purposes; I dive deeper and deeper into this whirlpool we call tea, with extreme speed, and I don't know why. I'm at my last resort people! I have nightmares that I'm cursed, and I just wish the ominous winds would take me out to the dark void, where tea does not exist!

Recommendation: 

Since I don't know what this tea is, I don't know how to tell you what to avoid so you NEVER DRINK THIS. Look at this bag, memorise the font and the company, and the random mix of unknown herbs, and remember to NEVER DRINK THIS.


Final words:

You know, I used to think drinking tea was a challenge, a fruitless one, well except for all those fruity teas, but then I saw this motivational poster, and it brought a tear to my eye.

True dat mothefuckaaaa [1]

I want to struggle, because tea is worth it.

Most of it isn't, but some of it is, and it's worth digging through the bad to get to the good; the needle in a haystack approach has never been more relevant, and desired. Tea is a lot like life, you have to filter out the crap, learn to not judge a tea on it's smell person on their smell outward appearance, sort the good from the bad, and when you do find a good one, just sit back, drift away with it and enjoy the neurons lighting up in the happy centre of your brain.

Source:

[1] http://ommin202.deviantart.com/art/Struggle-365118544

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