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| Uh..guys...I can't turn it off. HOW DO I TURN IT OFF? Deactivate!? DEACTIVATE!!! |
Today, we will be discussing motivation, life, and Higher Living's Organic Herb Infusion - Cocoa and Chilli.
Now on paper, this tea should be killer; it should be ideal and perfect, but I've got a homemade hamburger cooked by mum, and dark chocolate and strawberries on standby ready to go, when I'm inevitably pinned down by this potentially horrible brew and I need some cover fire to get my men out. I'm not leaving a single man behind! (Tastebuds = men)
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| Chilli you say...I'd like to see you try. Well, technically I'll be doing the trying, but who cares, you can't talk back to me, you're just a tea bag. So just sit there, and suck it, you inanimate object, you can't feel anything! You can't even go skydiving, or go-carting, or eat McDonalds. Even the most basic human can eat McDonalds, and what can you do? Yeah thought so, good comeback. |
Initial observations:
I'll be honest, it smells pretty fetching! The chocolate smells great, but the anise and licorice overpowers it quite quickly the deeper you breathe. It's kind of like when a dog licks you, at first it's cute, then you realise your legs/face/crotch is wet and now smells like dog breath. So I guess it's not so fetching. It's all stick no carrot.
I'll be honest, it smells pretty fetching! The chocolate smells great, but the anise and licorice overpowers it quite quickly the deeper you breathe. It's kind of like when a dog licks you, at first it's cute, then you realise your legs/face/crotch is wet and now smells like dog breath. So I guess it's not so fetching. It's all stick no carrot.
First thoughts on the first sips:
It's pretty fetch.
Okay, okay, fine; it's pretty wow, that chocolate is smashing. Being a big chocolate fan, I expected that, but it's not as direct as you think. The flavour kind of takes a slingshot loop around Gargantua to take advantage of gravity assist to try and reach Edmunds (the back of my throat) because it doesn't have enough fuel to reach my taste buds on my tongue (wat?). It really hits you on the back of the throat, and the flavour kind of sticks to the roof and back of your mouth. It's weird, but kinda nice.
Many sips later:
This is the part I hate about some teas; their downfall. Why do they try to overcomplicate blends with 20 million unneeded ingredients? They have a great choc-chilli base with some cool complimentary herbal ingredients (fennel, vanilla, and cinnamon), but have to complexify the tea with not only licorice, but caramom, cloves, and anise. Just like with salt, less is more with tea; why do they think that this makes the tea better?
The anise and licorice are so not welcome in my mouth right now.
I haven't yet commented on the chilli yet, but that's because I'm yet to hear back from it. I've been leaving it voicemails, texts, harassing it on Facebook, but still no answer. I just want an explanation; closure. I just want to move on, but it won't let me.
Okay, okay, fine; it's pretty wow, that chocolate is smashing. Being a big chocolate fan, I expected that, but it's not as direct as you think. The flavour kind of takes a slingshot loop around Gargantua to take advantage of gravity assist to try and reach Edmunds (the back of my throat) because it doesn't have enough fuel to reach my taste buds on my tongue (wat?). It really hits you on the back of the throat, and the flavour kind of sticks to the roof and back of your mouth. It's weird, but kinda nice.
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| Can't go over it, can't go under it, gotta go |
Many sips later:
This is the part I hate about some teas; their downfall. Why do they try to overcomplicate blends with 20 million unneeded ingredients? They have a great choc-chilli base with some cool complimentary herbal ingredients (fennel, vanilla, and cinnamon), but have to complexify the tea with not only licorice, but caramom, cloves, and anise. Just like with salt, less is more with tea; why do they think that this makes the tea better?
The anise and licorice are so not welcome in my mouth right now.
I haven't yet commented on the chilli yet, but that's because I'm yet to hear back from it. I've been leaving it voicemails, texts, harassing it on Facebook, but still no answer. I just want an explanation; closure. I just want to move on, but it won't let me.
Recommendation:
If you can put up with licorice and anise deciding to extend the house when fennel, chocolate, cinnamon, vanilla and their pet dog chilli are sleeping, give it a crack, although I've got a pack of 20 sitting on my desk at work now, so if you're really curious, just ask me for one, because god damn, I really don't want to drink 19 more.
If you can put up with licorice and anise deciding to extend the house when fennel, chocolate, cinnamon, vanilla and their pet dog chilli are sleeping, give it a crack, although I've got a pack of 20 sitting on my desk at work now, so if you're really curious, just ask me for one, because god damn, I really don't want to drink 19 more.
Final words:
I really, dont want to drink 19 more, please come by and try this polarising but mainly shitty amazing and complex tea.
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