China Black Tea/zhengshanxiaozhong

Hey tea heads, I hope you've been enjoying your brews. My quest to try every tea ever created in all of earth history (besides hemlock tea) is still going strong. I've acquired a few enchanted items along the way, my +300 mL liquid hand-painted-by-yours-truly mug, a tea jar for storage of ~30 teas, my +20 heat resistant t-shirt (it's black), a +10 cm distance from hot liquid long-handled teaspoon, and my passive and constantly growing -100 tea naivety. My point is I like to take precautions and own the final boss, I don't want to just beat them, I want to be at max level and crush the boss. When I see orange cones on the road I go out of my way to hit them just in case there is a bunch of magically cursed toys hiding underneath, so that I can take home, because I want to be prepared, just in case I need them to do a reconnaissance mission for me or something.

I hope to gain a few more companions along the way, but for now I'll be tackling this dungeon alone. The name of this one is China Black Tea or zhengshanxiaozhong, I think? 

No tea bag = strained it myself, aren't you proud mum? 

Finished product, eugh!

Initial observations:Damn this looks real black, I'm not foreseeing a pleasant future in these tea leaves. I should have payed better attention in Divination class. Smells gross and just...burnt.

First thoughts on the first sips:Oh god what is this!? It just tastes like charcoal! Who would ever drink this? I feel like weeping, I...eugh...I want to cry

I know this picture is going to be used against
me in the future but the people need to know, this
tea made me sooooo sad. I don't know if there is
any legal ground for this, but YOU TOTALLY NEED
MY PERMISSION TO USE THIS PHOTO. I'll
consult my lawyer tomorrow.

I don't have any words for this, let that picture be my words today.

Many sips later:
I actually am not going to drink this anymore, I can't take another sip. This is truly the worst tea I've ever drunk. I would go as far as to say it's one of the top 5 worst things I've ever put inside my body, and no you don't get to hear about the other 4.

Recommendation: 

Sooo I've just been reading up about black tea. Turns out it's got a bit (lol) of caffeine in it, great, just what I need at 11:30 PM on a Thursday night. Great work Ben! Something tells me the impact of drinking this won't just be screwing over my taste buds like normal.

Final words:

Refer to picture above, and remember that face when you want to try China Black Tea/zhengshanxiaozhong.